Why Dating is so Difficult in Your 40’s

In the last several months, I’ve made a conscious effort to put myself out there to broaden my peripheral view on life. I not only feel a boost in my self-esteem, but I also feel that I’m socially more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. I’ve attended a number of social functions where I knew very few to know one at all. I’ve gone to business seminars and conferences that I normally would have turned down the moment I heard they were taking place, and I went on a number of dates just for the hell of it. A dear friend once told me that going on dates is like going for a series of job interviews: you gain practice and experience hoping someday for that perfect match. As it stands right now, I remain unemployed. Continue reading Why Dating is so Difficult in Your 40’s

Forgiving Your Past

Is it even possible? How does one regain their self-esteem lost from childhood abuse and trauma?

What I’ve learned over the years is that low self-esteem in social situations can be common for childhood abuse and trauma survivors.

I feel judged and begin analyzing what others might be thinking of me. I feel a discomfort in my breathing and suddenly my mind no longer pays attention to the social interactions going on, but rather on what my exit strategy is going to be. Perhaps it’s a mild case of agoraphobia, the fear of feeling unsafe and trapped. Or maybe it’s a trigger from my past. Continue reading Forgiving Your Past

Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor.

I feel exhausted today.

Just drained with nothing left in me. No smiles, no laughs and just feeling pooped the very moment I stepped back home through my apartment door. In fact, I kinda felt weary this morning when I got to the gym. I lacked energy and motivation at boot-camp and it didn’t help when I noticed Mac & Tosh walking, instead of jogging around the track during warm-up. I honestly felt like joining them with their walk and early bail-out to Starbucks.

Another burpee? No thanks.

And please, not another push-up.

Continue reading “Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor.”

Mastering Boundaries

The other day at the office, Stella asked if I wanted to go out for lunch at the nearby sushi restaurant. We managed to find a great little spot, referred to by my other colleague, Cat. For under $10, you get a bento box (comprising of high quality sushi, sushi and more sushi, a garden salad and teriyaki chicken) along with a miso soup on the side. And did I mention that the sushi chef sometimes throws in a freebie of one his own creations?

Yes, that’s right. All this for under $10…mmm.

Ok, in case you’re wondering, no I’m not writing to promote this place. You can follow my Yelp account if you’re interested to find out. Continue reading “Mastering Boundaries”