Forgiving Your Past as a Means of Restoring Your Self-Esteem from Abuse

Is it even possible? How does one regain their self-esteem lost from childhood abuse and trauma?

What I’ve learned over the years is that low self-esteem in social situations can be common for childhood abuse and trauma survivors.

I feel judged and begin analyzing what others might be thinking of me. I feel a discomfort in my breathing and suddenly my mind no longer pays attention to the social interactions going on, but rather on what my exit strategy is going to be. Perhaps it’s a mild case of agoraphobia, the fear of feeling unsafe and trapped. Or maybe it’s a trigger from my past. … More Forgiving Your Past as a Means of Restoring Your Self-Esteem from Abuse

30 minutes of Parenting with PTSD

If anyone is struggling in their relationships, family or work life, assess your history growing up and ask yourself how the environment may have shaped your present belief system. Did you grow up with a lot family violence, arguments and shaming? Were you violated as a child and put down often? Were there major transitions such as divorce of your parents, moving to a different region or the sudden loss of a loved one? Dig deep and learn more about how childhood events such as trauma and abuse impacted you. … More 30 minutes of Parenting with PTSD

Why I’m Speaking about my Mental Health

Aren’t you afraid of what people might think of you?

Every now and then I get asked that question since I published Living with the Dragon, launched my online courses on mental health management and publicly opened up about my struggles in the past with depression, anxiety and anger.

The initial fear of going public has long since passed. I overcame that fear of judgement because I also knew that very same fear is preventing me from making a significant difference to the mental health community, and it is the very same fear that kept my shame alive after all the years. And as everyone knows, when there’s shame, we get stuck at a place of resentment, bitterness and external blaming. … More Why I’m Speaking about my Mental Health

I’m dying in 25 years…no wait…I have 25 years to Live!

As my collection of friends begin to show their age (with knee problems, high blood pressure, cholesterol challenges, balding), I sometimes think about some of my own aches and pains including my lower back and knees after playing intense games of basketball.

And when I think about recent celebrities passing away at the young age of 75-80 years old, I begin doing the math of the remaining time I might have on this planet.

So at the turn of the New Year, I reached several conclusions. Not resolutions. Conclusions. … More I’m dying in 25 years…no wait…I have 25 years to Live!

What Are You Thinking About? Understanding how your thoughts can lead to depression.

We get thoughts that pop up in our head based on a memory. If your childhood was plagued by bad experiences of abuse, trauma, arguments and family violence, your brain became programmed to those negative experiences. The repetition and patterns of negative behaviors in a negative environment hard wired your brain to  have recurring thoughts even as you get older. And since you get thousands of thoughts every day based on your experiences, you’ll sometimes get these negative memories creep into your headspace, reminding you of those bad times. These reminders can make way for unhealthy behaviors. This is partly the reason behind depression and anxiety because we create these unhealthy thoughts from our past which creates the depression, and we respond with fear and anxiety. … More What Are You Thinking About? Understanding how your thoughts can lead to depression.

Please stop telling me that I have a choice

Choices are made based on the thoughts and feelings we have. These thoughts can sometimes be created by past woes, experiences and triggers. Tuning them out isn’t as simple as saying you have a choice. People who experienced childhood abuse and trauma need to regain a sense of themselves before they can learn to make healthier choices consistently. … More Please stop telling me that I have a choice