Anxiety over the Future

I’m starting to sweat.
I can feel a tiny droplet – a moist, salty bead trickling down from my forehead, clinging onto the very tip of my nose, ready to fall. Anytime now.

Truth is, I’m sort of nervous. I’ve not been one to take many chances in life. Mostly everything’s been carefully calculated with the usual analytical questions: should I? How much will it cost? What’s the worst that can happen? Continue reading Anxiety over the Future

When’s the Last Time You Went for a Mental Health Checkup?

I’ve been feeling a little depressed these days and thought I’d utilize some tools I’ve learned over the years to address it. I realized we can all get affected mentally by changes that happen in our lives. No one is immune to feeling depressed, lonely, anxious or upset, and it’s important to recognize even the slightest of these feelings, and address them accordingly. Continue reading When’s the Last Time You Went for a Mental Health Checkup?

What Happened When I Was The Strong, Silent Type

Remember when we used to describe a person who was quiet and didn’t show much emotion as the strong, silent type? I don’t often hear that phrase anymore to describe a someone, and I’m glad. I mean, how strong is a person who is silent, especially when it comes to their mental health? Isn’t that an oxymoron? For generations, it was seen as a positive trait, to be the strong, silent type. You’re cool, collected and can withstand internalized pain. Movies stars portrayed this imagery very well, often looking cool and sexy in the movies if they were stoic. Continue reading What Happened When I Was The Strong, Silent Type

Coming Soon! Book #2 – Living with the Cat, the 9 Biggest Reasons Why Your Life Sucks!

Two years after publishing my best seller Living with the Dragon, Healing 15 000 Days of Abuse and Shame, I’m back with my follow up book that takes a complete 180 degree turn in writing style from my first book.

It promises to be wittier, quirkier and with chock full of anecdotes to amuse you. The best part is, you won’t even realize you’re reading a self-help book. I’m super excited to share this latest project with you and even more excited to make you smile, chuckle and laugh with my stories of mishaps, missteps and bumbling mistakes. (For example, what the heck does Mah-Mah Lee’s Rice-Wrap Steam Infusion Spa Treatment got to do with finding a relationship?) Continue reading Coming Soon! Book #2 – Living with the Cat, the 9 Biggest Reasons Why Your Life Sucks!

Improving Mental Health through Mental Fitness

It’s plastered everywhere now. Thanks to the power of social media and improving tolerance, you’d have to be living underneath a rock to not know that having good mental health is equally as important (if not more) than having good physical health. The two are synonymous when we talk about having a well balanced lifestyle. Continue reading Improving Mental Health through Mental Fitness

Why Dating is so Difficult in Your 40’s

In the last several months, I’ve made a conscious effort to put myself out there to broaden my peripheral view on life. I not only feel a boost in my self-esteem, but I also feel that I’m socially more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. I’ve attended a number of social functions where I knew very few to know one at all. I’ve gone to business seminars and conferences that I normally would have turned down the moment I heard they were taking place, and I went on a number of dates just for the hell of it. A dear friend once told me that going on dates is like going for a series of job interviews: you gain practice and experience hoping someday for that perfect match. As it stands right now, I remain unemployed. Continue reading Why Dating is so Difficult in Your 40’s

Forgiving Your Past

Is it even possible? How does one regain their self-esteem lost from childhood abuse and trauma?

What I’ve learned over the years is that low self-esteem in social situations can be common for childhood abuse and trauma survivors.

I feel judged and begin analyzing what others might be thinking of me. I feel a discomfort in my breathing and suddenly my mind no longer pays attention to the social interactions going on, but rather on what my exit strategy is going to be. Perhaps it’s a mild case of agoraphobia, the fear of feeling unsafe and trapped. Or maybe it’s a trigger from my past. Continue reading Forgiving Your Past

Why I’m Speaking about my Mental Health

Aren’t you afraid of what people might think of you?

Every now and then I get asked that question since I published Living with the Dragon, launched my online courses on mental health management and publicly opened up about my struggles in the past with depression, anxiety and anger.

The initial fear of going public has long since passed. I overcame that fear of judgement because I also knew that very same fear is preventing me from making a significant difference to the mental health community, and it is the very same fear that kept my shame alive after all the years. And as everyone knows, when there’s shame, we get stuck at a place of resentment, bitterness and external blaming. Continue reading Why I’m Speaking about my Mental Health

Please stop telling me that I have a choice

Choices are made based on the thoughts and feelings we have. These thoughts can sometimes be created by past woes, experiences and triggers. Tuning them out isn’t as simple as saying you have a choice. People who experienced childhood abuse and trauma need to regain a sense of themselves before they can learn to make healthier choices consistently. Continue reading Please stop telling me that I have a choice

Let’s Talk about Your Mental Health

When people live with the pain of depression, anxiety and anger, it’s even more critical to become more self-aware of the ups and downs of the powerful emotions and re-channel them through expressive words. This is especially true for men who struggle at home communicating their wounds to their wives and kids. Men who are unable to recognize the reasons behind their struggles, need to take a deeper dive and explore what could be triggering some of their unwanted feelings. And for men who don’t, may fall into a deep abyss of their depression and anxiety. If improperly managed, it can lead to anger and in many cases emotional, verbal and physical abuse. Continue reading Let’s Talk about Your Mental Health