I recently did some reading about different forms of attachment styles in relationships. I'm fascinated to learn more about myself as part of my ongoing personal development journey, and determined to provide the healthiest version of myself to Annie, my son and the people I care most about. Basically, what I've learned is that there are 2 attachment styles: Secure and Insecure. I dug deeper to determine what my attachment style has been in past relationships, determined not to repeat the same pattern in my current relationship with Annie. Based on a checklist of the behaviors, I fell into the Anxious Attachment Style.
Today I was fortunate enough to be on Facebook Live with the Self Achievement Network hosted by Domenic Certa to talk about my book Living with the Cat, the 9 Biggest Reasons Why Your Life Sucks. We also had the opportunity to talk about hurdles men face when it comes to relationships with themselves and how they can redefine what true manhood is about.
In the last several months, I've made a conscious effort to put myself out there to broaden my peripheral view on life. I not only feel a boost in my self-esteem, but I also feel that I'm socially more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. I've attended a number of social functions where I knew very few to know one at all. I've gone to business seminars and conferences that I normally would have turned down the moment I heard they were taking place, and I went on a number of dates just for the hell of it. A dear friend once told me that going on dates is like going for a series of job interviews: you gain practice and experience hoping someday for that perfect match. As it stands right now, I remain unemployed.
It's never easy to look ourselves in the mirror and see where we struggle with our behaviors. Yet, when we ask the question whether there's room for self-improvement, the answer is often times a yes. How do we make those changes in ourselves? How do we take those difficult steps? I learned the hard way through my own struggles and losses how to make those self-improvements happen. A life plagued by anger, abuse and mental health struggles, I discovered ways to get out of those unhealthy patterns and into a life that's focused and clear.