Now that the honeymoon stage is over in our relationship, it’s time to experience the power struggle stage. In my latest blog on dating and relationships, I take a deep dive into how our past trauma can impact the state of the relationship. Why isn’t she texting me back? I’m feeling anxious about us. I feeling resentful over nothing. These are the questions and scenarios I delve into on Healing Past Wounds (also known as, Taking care of my shit!)
Can men truly change? Ah, the million dollar question that lingers on every frustrated spouse and cynical single woman exhaustingly swiping left on their favorite dating app.
In recent years, I was always drawn to women with a similar past as mine; difficult childhood, struggles with mental health and a somewhat broken family relationship. As a result, those relationships were always missing an emotional connection that I have longed for in my adult life. Intimacy with them was non-existent and I often felt anxiety in my body whenever I spent time with them (warning signs that something wasn’t right). There was a push-and-pull feeling where I’m drawn in, then pushed away, leaving me with doubt in myself. Yet I held onto those relationships, feeding into my own anxious attachment style.
In the last several months, I’ve made a conscious effort to put myself out there to broaden my peripheral view on life. I not only feel a boost in my self-esteem, but I also feel that I’m socially more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. I’ve attended a number of social functions where I knew very few to know one at all. I’ve gone to business seminars and conferences that I normally would have turned down the moment I heard they were taking place, and I went on a number of dates just for the hell of it. A dear friend once told me that going on dates is like going for a series of job interviews: you gain practice and experience hoping someday for that perfect match. As it stands right now, I remain unemployed.