In recent years, I was always drawn to women with a similar past as mine; difficult childhood, struggles with mental health and a somewhat broken family relationship. As a result, those relationships were always missing an emotional connection that I have longed for in my adult life. Intimacy with them was non-existent and I often felt anxiety in my body whenever I spent time with them (warning signs that something wasn't right). There was a push-and-pull feeling where I'm drawn in, then pushed away, leaving me with doubt in myself. Yet I held onto those relationships, feeding into my own anxious attachment style.