Forgiving Your Past

Is it even possible? How does one regain their self-esteem lost from childhood abuse and trauma?

What I’ve learned over the years is that low self-esteem in social situations can be common for childhood abuse and trauma survivors.

I feel judged and begin analyzing what others might be thinking of me. I feel a discomfort in my breathing and suddenly my mind no longer pays attention to the social interactions going on, but rather on what my exit strategy is going to be. Perhaps it’s a mild case of agoraphobia, the fear of feeling unsafe and trapped. Or maybe it’s a trigger from my past. Continue reading Forgiving Your Past

What Are You Thinking About? Understanding how your thoughts can lead to depression.

We get thoughts that pop up in our head based on a memory. If your childhood was plagued by bad experiences of abuse, trauma, arguments and family violence, your brain became programmed to those negative experiences. The repetition and patterns of negative behaviors in a negative environment hard wired your brain to  have recurring thoughts even as you get older. And since you get thousands of thoughts every day based on your experiences, you’ll sometimes get these negative memories creep into your headspace, reminding you of those bad times. These reminders can make way for unhealthy behaviors. This is partly the reason behind depression and anxiety because we create these unhealthy thoughts from our past which creates the depression, and we respond with fear and anxiety. Continue reading What Are You Thinking About? Understanding how your thoughts can lead to depression.

Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor.

I feel exhausted today.

Just drained with nothing left in me. No smiles, no laughs and just feeling pooped the very moment I stepped back home through my apartment door. In fact, I kinda felt weary this morning when I got to the gym. I lacked energy and motivation at boot-camp and it didn’t help when I noticed Mac & Tosh walking, instead of jogging around the track during warm-up. I honestly felt like joining them with their walk and early bail-out to Starbucks.

Another burpee? No thanks.

And please, not another push-up.

Continue reading “Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor.”

Conversations from a Coffee Shop: Transforming my Personal Struggles into Success through Writing.

“Why don’t you write a book about your life?” asked my ex-wife as she poured herself a cup of earl grey tea one summer afternoon.

We were sitting on the empty patio at Gallagher’s coffee shop in Port Moody, listening to the sounds of birds chirping in the background of our conversation. Continue reading “Conversations from a Coffee Shop: Transforming my Personal Struggles into Success through Writing.”