Does love mean accepting the person as they are? If that's true, we wouldn't be fussing at them to turn off that gawd awful TV show the Bachlorette, would we? Yet, we still love them regardless of their different interests. Thus my perspective's changed. You can still love someone, and not accept them entirely. So, my quest continued to define what love means for me. Here's what I came up with and jotted down...
I recently did some reading about different forms of attachment styles in relationships. I'm fascinated to learn more about myself as part of my ongoing personal development journey. Basically, what I've learned is that there are 2 attachment styles: Secure and Insecure. I dug deeper to determine what my attachment style has been in past relationships, determined not to repeat the same pattern in my current relationship with Annie. Based on a checklist of the behaviors, I fell into the Anxious Attachment Style.
I just got back from my dream trip to Iceland, and let me tell you, I had the most incredible time there with friends Randy and Rene. I could go on and on about the vast, beautiful and ever changing terrain or the delish food we had (fermented shark, puffin, lots of lamb), or maybe ramble on about the new friendships we made but no amount of words can capture how important this trip was for me and how I feel today
What happens when you feel stuck? I used to have every excuse in the book for my unhappiness. It was always someone else's fault, or how shitty my upbringing was. I wasn't loved enough, or no one gave me what I needed. My negative attitude led me to a path of depression, anxiety and anger, never able to sustain a healthy relationship with anyone because I would constantly look externally for validation. So that's how I lived my life for decades. I was holding everyone else accountable for my misfortunes, when the answers all came from within.
I'm starting to sweat. I can feel a tiny droplet - a moist, salty bead trickling down from my forehead, clinging onto the very tip of my nose, ready to fall. Anytime now. Truth is, I'm sort of nervous. I've not been one to take many chances in life. Mostly everything's been carefully calculated with the usual analytical questions: should I? How much will it cost? What's the worst that can happen?
I've been feeling a little depressed these days and thought I'd utilize some tools I've learned over the years to address it. I realized we can all get affected mentally by changes that happen in our lives. No one is immune to feeling depressed, lonely, anxious or upset, and it's important to recognize even the slightest of these feelings, and address them accordingly.
I just returned from my fabulous vacation to Cancun and finally settling into home life again. I remember two years ago after returning from the Dominican Republic, writing how tough it was to get back into the routine and feeling the Post Vacation Blues. Though I enjoyed every minute of this trip to Cancun (even when I fell ill with the the flu for two straight days), I'm just as glad to be home to feel the warmth of my apartment, my bed, Inori and my environment. There really is no place like home. We made the most of our time and I certainly have a ton of fond memories with my beloved friends and my son. From start to finish, this trip was filled with non-stop laughter, photo shoots, photo bombs, jokes, poolside fun, great dining experiences and so much more.