If you're feeling trapped in the negativity bubble, chances are you're not alone. I used to be the guy who fell into the negativity trap, often feeling pessimistic towards just about anything. What this meant for me was I started attracting people in my life who thought the same way and together we built a community of naysayers. When things began to turn around for me several years ago, I noticed a shift in my daily life, albeit in small stages. I began to enjoy more uplifting music, I smiled more, I laughed lots, I was able to make jokes at my own expense, and I started to attract friends and people who carried a positive glow.
Getting regular exercise can do wonders for your body and mind. Whenever I feel an onset of stress and anxiety, exercising helps me to reset. However, it wasn’t too long ago when I sometimes felt it was impossible to get myself motivated enough to even move a muscle. During that point in my life, I was on the edge of 220 lbs and had poor eating habits comprising of fast food and greasy Chinese take-out on a regular basis. In addition, I was carrying the weight of depression on my shoulders.
How can we declutter our brain from all those running thoughts? When we're conditioned to be productive or frantically chasing, keeping up with our busy lives, we're often caught in a cycle of feeling stress and anxiety. Here's a simple tip you can use to help bring balance back into your daily lives.
Communicating hasn't always been easy for me. If I had a problem, or felt a little anxious or depressed, I bottled up my feelings. I'd hang on to my feelings of stress and take it out on others, passively or sometimes directly with spiteful words. And saying sorry for my behavior was out of the question. Sorry? What does that mean anyway?
I was looking for years to meet that special someone I can truly connect with. Someone who gets me. Someone who not only has a zest for life, but also shares the same values. Someone I don't have to doubt, question or second guess. Someone who may not have gone through a similar journey as I have, but understands me well enough to appreciate my ongoing efforts to become the loving man and father I'm capable of being. Someone who can communicate with me with a simple look.
Anxiety is a perfectly normal emotion to feel. We feel it sometimes for a variety of reasons, but most often times in my experience, it's self-inflicted. When I peel back the onion, the root of the issue is when I find myself thinking too far into the future, worrying about things beyond my control. When I focus on things I could only do in the present state, I feel relief and a greater sense of calm.
In recent years, I was always drawn to women with a similar past as mine; difficult childhood, struggles with mental health and a somewhat broken family relationship. As a result, those relationships were always missing an emotional connection that I have longed for in my adult life. Intimacy with them was non-existent and I often felt anxiety in my body whenever I spent time with them (warning signs that something wasn't right). There was a push-and-pull feeling where I'm drawn in, then pushed away, leaving me with doubt in myself. Yet I held onto those relationships, feeding into my own anxious attachment style.