I was listening to the radio the other day how Christmas time can evoke a lot of emotions inside of us without even realizing it. On one hand, at it’s core, Christmas is a festive holiday bringing people together, filling them with joy and a sense of peace, away from the hustle and bustle of every day life. On the other hand, it can be a painful reminder of things we experienced around this time growing up, or even with recent losses, and how incredibly alone and depressed we can feel.
In my practice of returning to my inner child, I’ve started to learn more about the somatic experiences in my adult self. The tightening of my jaw, furrowed brows and my collapsed posture all mimic my fear responses (or fight/flight response) of my inner child whenever I heard Dad storming upstairs ready to beat theContinue reading “Forgiving My Past”
In the real world, my life was far from being perfect. Growing up in a home rife with family violence, any moments of joy was short-lived and followed up with beatings by my dad, shaming from my older siblings, bullying at school or disppapproval from my mom. Thus, perhaps watching the feel-good 30 minute sitcoms with the happy endings was my form of escape from the painful reminder that my days would often end in tears, pain and loneliness. The paradox was that I wanted my parents to see me as the creative, sensitive and intelligent little boy, but I also wanted to be invisible from the hurt, abuse and neglect.
I never knew what a happy, healthy family model looked like. When I started my own family, I led based only on what I learned growing up that happiness at home is earned through hard work, and being accomplished through the day. I remember growing up, there was a small wooden wall decor in ourContinue reading “Loving an Emotionally Unavailable Mother”
Psychiatrist Carl Jung coined the terms shadow work, which in lay person’s term is accepting all traits of oneself. There’s no good, nor bad parts to us, just One. When we are whole, we love and accept what many would see as negative traits. For most of us who experienced a form of childhood trauma, fear, insecurity and doubt, are undoubtedly going to exist in our lives. I’ve learned that the hard way of struggling to accept my past.