I was looking for years to meet that special someone I can truly connect with. Someone who gets me. Someone who not only has a zest for life, but also shares the same values. Someone I don’t have to doubt, question or second guess. Someone who may not have gone through a similar journey as I have, but understands me well enough to appreciate my ongoing efforts to become the loving man and father I’m capable of being. Someone who can communicate with me with a simple look.
Then out of the unexpected came D.
She gets me.
She’s a great listener and a great conversationalist. She’s adaptable and open minded.
She inspires me to write, learn new ideas on mental health, personal growth, and to partake in new activities.
And when she said to me, don’t buy a brand new sofa Jason, I fully comprehended what she really meant was, we’re going to be together for the long haul so don’t bother spending unnecessarily on duplicate furniture.
I know this is it.
D isn’t just any girlfriend I met online. There’s a deeper connection I’ve not had with anyone else before. How can I confidently say this?
Well, as starters, she’s my first…my first relationship where I carry my own self love as well as being truly in love with someone else. My love for her is an extension of my own self-love. This is a new heightened feeling for me that feels stronger and grounded.
I can honestly say that I didn’t have a clue what self-love was for the better part of my life. I didn’t understand the concept that in order to love someone else, you have to love and respect yourself first. Thus, I looked externally for others to love me and needless to say, I learned the hard way that was incredibly unhealthy for me. I became dependent and needy for other people’s approval. I used to believe the best relationships that suited me were with women who’ve gone through similar strife as me. Someone who’d get my trauma. Someone who shares the same struggles. I didn’t see my worth and believed the only people who would accept me would be someone who also struggled to see their own worth.
The key for me to change my relationship with others was to reprogram my self-limiting belief. Creating a baseline of self love for my inner child has been my silver bullet. I knew my own value in life and knew that I’m worth the investment, so I plugged away for years tapping into my deeply rooted wounds, processing them with therapists and self-help exercises. I never stopped and continue to do the work because I’m worth it. Thus, I found myself in a happier space. My steps became lighter and I began to see the World as a safe and trusting space. I went out to meet people. I laughed. I smiled. I felt present. I forgave my past and myself. I felt my outer World was a reflection of my inner self, and I liberated myself to become the happy man who was once trapped by his past wounds and mistakes.
By the Laws of Attraction, I met D, a positive minded, confident, outgoing and self-empowered woman whom I respect as my equal. When I met D that Wednesday afternoon, I quickly realized how much my self limiting beliefs have changed. I was attracted to her stability, strength, confidence, humor, openness and vulnerability; traits I previously overlooked in women. This all meant how much worth I saw in myself knowing I deserve to be with someone who also knows her own worth.
We’re partners in this journey. No ball and chain, and no one is wearing the metaphorical pants in this relationship. It’s a shared responsibility. I have no qualms of cleaning up the kitchen or making the bed in the morning and she has no issues about planning our weekend outing with the kids or occasionally picking up the dinner tab.
She understands my love language, and she’s someone who isn’t afraid to tell me when she’s feeling stressed from work or missing me. And she’s someone who I’m not afraid to be vulnerable with whenever I feel anxious or worried. I recently went to the ER for a nosebleed (of all things) and I needed her. I don’t feel I need to man-up with D and suppress my emotions. I don’t need to be afraid to tell her that I can’t fix her car, but I can be there to support her if she’s ever feeling anxious or upset. I feel safe enough to tell her with resounding confidence that I want to spend my lifetime with her.
My journey over the years has led me to D and I’m glad it’s with her and with no one else. In her, I’ve met my soulmate and my best friend, when I wasn’t even expecting to, and my difficult journey was well worth it.