I suddenly woke up at 2am this morning.
To be precise, my clock read 2:14am.
I woke up, sharp as a tack.
I fell asleep around 9:30pm, and the previous night, well, let’s just say I would hardly call what I did as sleep.
I sat up on my bed filled with inspiration. These moments don’t happen very often, where I hear the song Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap coursing through my veins, and suddenly filled with ideas.
What ideas you ask?
Allow me to back up a bit.
After publishing Living with the Cat, the 9 Biggest Reasons Why Your Life Sucks! this past October, I did a couple of speaking events, promoting the book and talking about shifting the mindset on how we view mental health. With self-deprocating humor, the book is a personal account of my experiences with depression, anxiety and anger. If we can’t learn to laugh at ourselves, we’ll perpetually be trapped in a vicious cycle of blame, resentment and anger. Since publishing it, my focus has been sharing much of my personal lived experiences with depression, anxiety and anger, or what I consider the 3 banes for the better part of my adult life. The power of sharing ones story of experiences and recovery is profound because we suddenly realize we’re human, and mental health struggles is prevalent in (dare i say) everyone at some point in our lives. This brings hope, inspiration and ideas to our struggles. It also validates our own experiences. Why else do we read other people’s blogs and watch Youtube videos on recovery from depression and anxiety?
So, by sharing my story through my book and speaking events, I’ve managed to inspire so many people, from old friends to people I’ve never met before. This moves my heart, filling it with joy to contribute to a greater good beyond myself. It’s also cathartic for me, plus it keeps me accountable for those who are familiar with my history of anger, abuse and a toxic belief system. This continues to be my personal ongoing goal, which is to help others realize they’re not alone, plus, to share the powerful message that men can share their feelings as well. Growing up as an emotional child, I was often beat by family members for being too sensitive, too emotional and too vocal with my feelings. As an adult, I have the power, gift and responsibility to break that mould and be my honest self, one who isn’t afraid to talk about his feelings.
Inspiration strikes sometimes when we least expect it. It can come from any direction and could be a chain reaction of events that sparked the ideas. D has truly become a welcomed addition in my life, and the other day she sent me some links to some community mental health resources. I browsed through the links without thinking much into it, until this morning.
I rose from my bed, picked up my journal and began scribbling down ideas on what I want to do next to promote mental health awareness. Like storyboarding, I built pages of concept ideas that I can do with my voice as a mental health advocate. Throughout my journey, I’ve always felt what I’ve gone through as a gift and responsibility to the mental health community. Thus, I began scripting and stacking more ideas ontop each other idea I had at 2:30am.
What are my ideas?
Well, without spilling the beans too much, let’s just say there’s so many mediums I can use to raise mental health awareness, and speaking about it has always been most rewarding for me. However, the Piscean and Enneagram 4 in me wants to do something more creatively. But in the words from Shakespeare’s Henry V, let this acceptance take.
In other words, let’s just leave it as this and stay tuned.
By the time my wrist was sore from writing down my ideas, the clock was reading 4:30am and I just felt compelled to blog. In a matter of hours, I’ll be playing basketball with my son and his friends, yet I’m filled with energy and enthusiasm. I’m excited to see him as it’s been a week since he came over and I love talking about life and personal growth with him, plus the odd trash talk when we take to the courts. I’m also excited to share my ideas with D who’s been an attraction of inspiration to me. I was bursting with enthusiasm and wanted to message her, but resisted the temptation given it was 2 in the morning. I’ve never felt this compatible with a partner before in the early stages of dating, and I feel whole about myself. Best part is, she’s brilliant, emotionally available and she’s got a passion for life.
As I sit in my livingroom with a cup of coffee in hand and my cat sitting beside me, I can see the sun rising.
I’m just going to enjoy this moment.