I woke up this morning feeling a greater sense of calm. I still only got my usual six hours of sleep (give or take), and my cat Inori still caterwauled the night away, but for whatever reason, I felt present. I climbed out of bed and sat on the floor, staring outside, listening to the sounds of the 7am morning with a warm inner glow. I then proceeded with my usual morning meditation and eased myself into an even greater state of peace. My morning coffee that followed tasted richer and more aromatic. My eyes beamed at how beautiful my 900sq ft apartment is and how nice the warm morning shower felt on my body.
That’s where I was.
I recently discovered my new word. If I had balls to get a tattoo, Equanimity would be inked on my forearm. Maybe with a hashtag too. I love that word. Besides its precisely balanced meaning of mental calmness and composure, it has the perfect combination of sounds when spoken. Equanimity.
Feeling a sense of mental calmness and composure in recent days has been enlightening for me, especially during recent months. I can certainly take away many inadvertent gifts from uncertain times and continue to remain positive.
How do I do this?
I’ve recently been extending my meditations to practices of gratitude. Though I have countless things to be grateful for, I’ve especially been grateful for the meaningful relationships I’ve been in the past.
When I look back at some of my relationships (both short and long, since time is rather insignificant to me), I always take away something valuable. If you know me well enough, you’ll know I’m a deep thinker. I feel, I analyze and I learn to see things with greater depth and appreciation.
For instance, in one relationship, I learned about personal growth and trying to achieve greater things beyone my 9-5 lifestyle. You might say becoming an author, speaker and blogger was in many ways a result of my willingness to see myself beyond my corporate clothes.
In another, I’m extremely grateful for being introduced to counselling. This catalyzed my much needed healing journey, propelling me to gain a deeper understanding of my childhood pain. I also learned about being present and how to enjoy the moment. “Why can’t you sit still and just enjoy things with me?” she’d use to say.
Finally in another relationship, a very important lesson I’m grateful for, was I finally learned to see my self-worth. I internally questioned my value in the relationship, and only realized it after it was all said and done. And she reminded me to demonstrate gratitude for what I already have, which helped put me in a place where I am today of greater happiness.
My gratitude meditations includes all these lessons because I’ve learned from all my relationships, and I’ve valued them deeply. While most of my peers are keeping themselves busy these days binge watching Netflix, I often find myself meditating.
It’s a great time to be present with myself and to live in the now, appreciating what I’ve created in my world. My blogs, my writing, my creations, my vulnerability, my compassion are gifts meant to be shared and to bring healing. We can all learn from thinking more abundantly which means seeing things as learning opportunities, rather than losses. Especially (as I gracefully age), living in the moment, worrying less and simply allowing the Universe to take its course has become one of my daily mantras.
And after each deep meditation, I rise up feeling a sense of growth, presence, happiness, and balance. I stand taller, walking with an even bigger smile on my face.
That’s the power of Equanimity.