Healing takes time. It takes patience and then right when you think things are on track, it takes even more patience. Depression, anxiety and anger have been banes in my life. When I failed to raise self-awareness to my anxiety and depression, my anger popped like a shaken can of soda. My anger came out in different ways; becoming verbally aggressive and hot-tempered over the slightest triggers was one way. Being passive aggressive was also another way; giving the silent treatment or throwing sarcastic punches indirectly aimed at others. Much of my anger was an inner reflection of my crippled self-esteem. Anger gave me power (falsely) and the illusion that I was in control. Anger allowed me to stand taller than everyone else because I was able to put others down which put me on a pedestal of greatness. This boosted my self-esteem, but in the worst way possibly achieved. That self-esteem tumbled like a building made of sticks and soon I’d be filled with shame, guilt and self-loathing.
There’s no timeline for healing except that continuous effort and work must be applied daily when dealing with past wounds. It takes time to untangle the web of depression, anxiety and anger that was spun for years. That strength must come from within and it certainly helps with a good supporting cast around you.
Most importantly when dealing with past wounds, you must realize the journey is yours to own. There’s no sense in comparing your life to others because each person grows and finds their way at different times in their lives. Some people walk similar roads, while others choose roads that are less traveled.
Which road will you choose to walk?