So now that my book Living with the Dragon is published, all I have to do is sit back and enjoy the fabulous lifestyle of an author! Business meetings, dinner galas, photo shoots, interviews and autograph sessions are just filling up my day planner!
(cue the sound of crickets)
Allow me to share what today looked like for this exciting new author:
- I was awakened at 1:30 am because my cat Inori decided to jump across my head while I was asleep. Because she wasn’t getting enough attention she elected to use her head to nudge my forehead repeatedly as I was sleeping (a sign indicating she wants me to pet her)….grr…
- My alarm went off at 5:08 am…just enough time to brush my teeth, haphazardly style my hair with half-opened eyes, clean the kitty litter box, grab my gym bag and lunch before heading off to the local community center for my 6 am workout….yawwn…
- 12:09 pm I got a text from my friend “Guy” saying that he couldn’t make our 4pm get together at the local Starbucks….crap….
- My son is at his mom’s tonight, so at 4:55 pm, I decided on greasy Chinese take-out for dinner, something I haven’t had in a long time, but often crave. I decided to let myself indulge in the savory selection and I simply devoured it without remorse when i got home. Not the healthiest choice, but what the fuck….
..yea..not quite Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous yet…
For me as an author, the real height of my joy was in the writing process. I love to create. As a child, I used to love building things with Lego, draw pictures, create boardgames and write stories. I truly enjoyed the 9 months of writing Living with the Dragon because it allowed me to transpose my intangible experiences and thoughts into an actual physical creation that can be touched, felt and read. The process was a delightful and exciting experience for me to watch my book take shape into its finished product. It was joy in its purest form.
However, this past week I’ve been feeling a bit melancholic which is partly the reason why I haven’t blogged in a while. Instead of fighting these wild mood swings, I decided to sit with it and draw some self-awareness to make sure that my emotions aren’t mismanaged into forms of anger or some other morose feelings.
So what’s going on?
My Book launch
- This past week and a half I’ve been making sure everybody and anybody who’s interested in “self-help” knows about my book. It’s been a process of promotions, writing emails, proofreading them and clicking “send.” Rinsed and repeated about 50 more times…
- I’ve never studied Marketing but I do understand the value of it. I read somewhere that a book is a like a 3 legged stool. A great book is like two of the three legs. Marketing is the third leg and if you don’t market it, the stool is absolutely useless.
- I read that there’s about 1500 books published worldwide in one day and mine is buried somewhere in there…oh boy…
I’ve had two friends cancel on me this past week (one was sick and the other got tied up) and I feel a bit bummed because these are two important people in my life currently and I really looked forward to seeing them again (but I do understand their need to cancel). Allow me to share why they matter to me:
- “Joon” is a friend I met a few months ago through one of my Meetups. A very insightful young lady who aspires to be a top realtor someday, but understands the hardships of getting there. She’s incredibly focused, intelligent and determined. We go out once in a while for lunch talking about mental health and childhood abuse, something we both have a mutual understanding of. Recently, she openly shared with me that she’s been living with schizophrenia for a number of years. I can’t begin to express how positive I feel knowing her. For one, I don’t see her as someone living with schizophrenia. When I met her months ago, I just thought of her as a nice, intelligent young lady who I decided to get to know more. And now that she openly shared with me, I have an even greater admiration and respect for her…and I still just see her as the same brilliant Joon! Secondly, I’d like to think perhaps there’s a greater purpose in knowing Joon. As readers know, I have a brother with schizophrenia who I have a difficult time reaching out to. I’d like to believe that Joon might be someone who can metaphorically bridge that gap for me and someday perhaps help me get reconnected with my brother.
- “Guy” is a great friend who I met about three years ago. He’s quite a few years older than I (but young at heart!) who offers such great wisdom and intelligence. He’s incredibly understanding of my past and is someone who I wished my father was more like. Guy is compassionate and a great listener. I’ve cried sharing stories to him and he’s been encouraging of my healing journey. He’s also been a big supporter and inspiration for my book, helping me promote it to his friends and colleagues. And after all that he offers me, I think he also really enjoys my company too which really makes me feel good. I didn’t grow up with healthy male role models, thus Guy is someone I presently look up to which makes him a such a significant person in my life. Guy is the person who taught me the value of building an emotional connection with people because it allows for a more lasting and meaningful relationship with them. This is where some relationships fail (including my own past ones) because they don’t have an emotional connection and understanding with each other.
Thus this past week of feeling moody and melancholic can be traced back to feelings of fatigue, disappointment, loneliness, anxiety and unrest, however after blogging and journalling, I must say that these feelings have subsided substantially.
As an author and blogger, finding inspiration is a constant norm. I look for inspiration in my conversations with those around me. I look for inspiration when I go for a stroll around the park. I look for inspiration in what I observe when I “people-watch” at malls or at the coffee shop. I look for inspiration in other people’s blogs and books. I also look for inspiration in my friends such as Joon and Guy.
Life as an author isn’t about making the big bucks and living a fancy lifestyle. I still have holes in my pockets and a small yet lovely apartment I call home every night that I’m truly grateful for. Life as an author is about taking what you’ve created and sharing it to the world to educate, inspire and build hope. And that makes me smile.