Depression feels like pudding.
Thick, heavy pudding.
My body just feels like one gelatinous goop as I lay alone in bed on this empty Friday night.
Motionless, my muscles have failed me yet again.
My brain is mush and frozen on deciding what to do next.
…so I just lay there because I have to…
and the World feels silent as darkness creeps closer towards my door.
…hollow and meaningless my very existence becomes.
I forget how to smile,
I forget how to speak,
i forget how to cry,
numb to any thoughts, numb to any pain
there is so much suffering, yet none at all.
And I can only sense my Breathing
one breath after another,
up and down my chest goes.
ever so slowly…
up and down,
up and down.
It’s all I have at this very moment.
I think I’ll just hold onto that and call it my friend for tonight.